Welcome,
I would like to share with you a favorite quote of mine:
"People who need people are the luckiest people in the world." (Barbara Streisand)
Sometimes the emotional wounds of childhood are taken forward into adulthood with a compounding effect that interferes with people's ability to trust that relationships can be worthwhile. Understandably, most people wish to protect themselves from emotional pain; and either avoidance of relationships altogether or not becoming dependent on another seemingly offers self- protection. There is a price to be paid, called loneliness, or the facade of being proudly self-reliant. Avoidance may not be limited to the arena of relationships, Few people realize that this guardedness may spread to having difficulties investing their energy in projects or work because of fears of being judged or self-doubts that inhibit taking action.
Some people mistakenly believe that they can find emotional safety and security in the protective shadows of someone who appears to have these qualities. Problems surface when the illusions start to fade that another human being can be there "perfectly" for you. Ultimately, the only control any of us have is in relation to ourselves. You can learn more about your personal power to reshape your beliefs and change your behaviors to more effectively pursue the fulfillment that you seek. The bottom line is you can learn to feel emotionally safe with yourself and then no one can take that from you.
If you are interested in taking the next step I suggest that you read on to learn more about Dr. Sharona.
CONSIDERING THERAPY:
I realize you are looking at my website because you may be considering the possibility of seeing a therapist. There have been times when you might have thought that you could benefit from becoming more focused or fine-tuning how you deal with certain aspects of your life.
You may have certain beliefs that make it easier or perhaps more difficult for you to take action and in particular when it comes to consulting with a therapist.
You might want to consider:
Do you believe that it is acceptable for you to consult with a mental health professional or do you have concerns about what doing so may mean to you or others?
If this is the first time you are considering seeing a therapist, it is important to realize:
In the year 2011, some people continue to be apprehensive about seeking counseling or therapy, and have many questions about whether this is the right step to take.
You may wonder: "What will it be like seeing a therapist?"
I like to think about myself as a consultant or a coach for "Life 101",or "201," or perhaps as a Coach for Living in the Year 2011.
In our rapidly changing world even some of the most organized people are feeling overwhelmed by the multitude of demands that they are fielding.
You might want to reflect on some of the different types of beliefs that frequently interfere with people's ability to achieve their potential. You might ask yourself, do I have any of these beliefs?
"Irrational beliefs" often dictate the standards we set for ourselves and can be expressed as "shoulds," "have to's" and "musts" which you might find are difficult to shake even if you realize that they are not useful.
"Self-limiting beliefs" are reasons you might use to justify why you are unable to do something e.g, "I am too young," "I am too old," "I 'm not in good enough shape to . . . ,"I am not smart enough to . . ."
If you have any of these beliefs or similar ones, they can keep you really stuck, and avoiding challenges and opportunities for embarking on your personal growth.
OUR THINKING
In our culture self-reliance is valued and promoted perhaps leading you to believe that it is healthier to manage life's challenges on your own. Sometimes people persist in doing more of the same even when it has them "spinning their wheels;" and leaves them with the same results. Unfortunately, asking for help in resolving difficulties or in getting past stuck points pmay be viewed by some as signs of weakness. Knowing when to ask for help is actually a sign of emotional health.
Do you have difficulty structuring your time?
Then it may be hard for you to consider actually taking a time-out, a time for quieting your mind and letting go of nagging, distracting or worrisome thoughts.
If you struggle with self-esteem issues then many of your thoughts are concerns about whether or not you measure up, and questioning: "Am I good enough?" or "Will I ever be good enough?"
Most people have difficulty managing their time and particularly when they are ceing continuously bombarded by signals and lights alerting them to new messages. Technology has undoubtedly made many aspects of work and play more efficient and more enjoyable. At the same time the quantities of information being sent and received have created a culture of rapid responders who attend more to their devices than the people who are in their presence. For some attachment to devices has replaced human-to-human interactions leaving more people feeling lonely while being able to electronically connect to more than ever before. More frequently, in business and social settings it seems as though people have lost "the ability to choose" where they will focus their attention. Often, relationships are damaged by technology trumping personal interactions, leaving one or both people with hurt feelings and a sense of being insignificant. We are becoming more lonely in the presence of others if we haven't located the "on/off switch."
If you decide that you would like to learn ways to clear your mind of mental clutter, you may be surprised by the benefits you will experience. You have chosen to make yourself a priority and subsequently it becomes easier to prioritize other commitments to relationships, activities and tasks. Many of us have either never known how or have forgotten how to take time-outs for self-reflection, to assess if we are satisfied with the way we are living or if there are some changes we wish to make.
I would like for you to know that anyone can learn and develop these skills of clearing and quieting their mind . . . and this will become a gift that you can give to yourself!
WHEN MIGHT SOMEONE DECIDE TO SEE A THERAPIST?
If you are less than satisfied with your life then you might want to consider seeing a life consultant, a trained mental health professional who can help you expand your ability to take on new perspectives; improve your ability to engage in a problem-solving process; to obtain assistance in accessing your motivation; to expand your understanding of ways that you may engage in self-sabotaging behaviors; explore your resistances to change; or perhaps to develop strategies for changing your negative thoughts; or to explore impasses in your relationships.
HOW OUR THOUGHTS AFFECT OUR BEHAVIOR
Dr. Sharona believes every human being is navigating the road of life, the best that they know how to do at any given moment in time.
We are practicing what we know, and being open to new ideas and alternative response styles may seem out of reach or something bever considered before.
When we are feeling secure in ourselves, we are able to direct our thoughts more easily toward new information; however, if we are feeling insecure we are directing our thoughts internally, focusing on what is wrong.
Our thought processes can be likened to software that we carry with us on our ipad or laptop, and they are rigidly programmed in and require special skills to be reprogrammed.
Some software is written allowing for more options and flexibility to personalize than others; and when it comes to living your life wouldn't it be nice to be able to upgrade to meet your needs today?.
When you are locked into a certain program's dated templates all you can do is maintain "inside the box" thinking, and perhaps you become increasingly frustrated if you realize it just isn't meeting your needs.
At one end of the continuum our thought process can keep us in narrow, tight spaces while at the other extreme are thought processes can be so expansive that they take us all over the place and we can't figure out where to start.
MORE ON "How Our Thoughts Affect Our Behavior"
Today's culture demands that we have newer and sharper skills to enhance our self-awareness and communicate with others regarding our emotional needs.
Loneliness can be experienced more frequently in the company of others who are compulsive multi-taskers who have forgotten how to give another human being their undivided attention.
Our relationships have the potential to enrich our lives and enhance our well-being; and when they are at their best, they are mutually satisfying.
If you are often feeling disappointed in yourself, or feeling disappointed in others, some of this may be attributable to our culture, or - you may be Relationship Challenged.
A therapeutic relationship is a vehicle for change, if you are ready to embark on your personal journey of growth, you might want to consider taking the next step.
Dr. Sharona's professional style:
Dr. Sharona is active and engaging with her clients who become engaged with her in developing a collaborative relationship focused on achieving your personal goals. She has a special capacity for expressing compassion, warmth and concern for her clients. Her sense of curiosity about her clients encourages them to be curious about themselves, the choices they make and the alternatives that may not have seemed apparent before. Dr. Sharona's clients experience the tenacity of her belief in every human being's potential for growth which becomes their belief about themselves.
For more information you may contact us at:
TEL: 303.779.1699
EMAIL: sharona@drsharona.com
